”

I think I have vertigo. Wait. What is vertigo?

8 months ago
”

Enjoy your wet dance. Also known as a shower.

9 months ago
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Actually, I’m just gonna stick to falafel because yaknow. I’m weird about red meats.

9 months ago
you: so how's ramadan?
me: who?
you: ...ramadan...
9 months ago
”

I just set my microwave on fire by putting wax paper and an apple pie in there. But don’t tell anyone okay?

9 months ago
”

do you remember the last time you lost your marbles? literally? you were sitting in the living room!

9 months ago
”

you got her seroquel for christmas?

9 months ago
”

so i made him a bento. you know what that is right?

9 months ago
”

I don’t dance in the shower. Do you want me to slip and die?

9 months ago
”

Well I’m asian so I see wide screen.

9 months ago